i really feel like this year is the year that i start over and fix my self. i finally had a break through which is causing all kinds of questions in my head, like, i cant even describe, its just a new way of thinking for me and things are starting to become really clear, like i can finally see after being blind.
school is completely deflating for me, it just lost all the excitment because of things that happened and truths about myself i am realising, i want to start making a reall solid effort at it and not just bullshitting through it like i always have.
i want to die my hair black, i'm back to normal!! i feel like i was just in this fog and now that i am out of it and look back is an amazing thing. now i am just being myself and not letting being alone bother me, and it really isn't as scary or bad as i expected, its nice to see things so fresh and clear.

i broke up with him. and half of me wants to be the flirty ingenue i was born to be and half wants to get back with him. and half is still wondering if i made the right decision. i don't know.

i'm prolly gonna break up with rob by christmas at the rate this is going. he says he wants me to be friends with his friends. the same friends who sat there and laughed when that cunted bitch shannon was trying to take him from me and rob just let his cousin mess with her leading her on. really fucking suspicious. i officially want nothing to do with them. and when we do hangout with them he acts like kritsy's boyfriend, fucking sharing his food and getting her shit. while basically ignoring me and acting like i'm fucking cramping his style or some shit. and i don't fucking trust kristy.i really just need a replacement boy to show interest and i'm gone essentially. and to completely back up my paranoia he isn't responding to me. awesome. fuck. this is so fucked up

batman was better written than i could have imagined, it could have been overly kitch and cheezy but it wasnt. adn the performance of the joker makes me want to go crazy... atleast start fucking around for no reason again. the freedom of it is so exhilirating, i ended up rooting for el joker-o ( the character that was written by the writers, not heath ledger.. he didnt create the character.. the writers did )

makeup needs to be happening.... im such a lazy ass haha all i did today was watch true life and look up metal bands...and troll lj like a creep....ahhhhhh i need to develope the pictures from like 3 weeks ago!!! haha what can i do to get out of this lazy slumppp??? suckks

deleted the old one, starting over starting fresh